Tagbilaran city had nothing to offer whatsoever, but managed to serve up the worst pizza I have ever had in my life. I think the cheese could possibly have been made from human tit milk and the pepperoni, I was almost certain it was still alive. Jerac’s pizza offers a special prize for anyone who can eat their huge 22″ pizza in 40 minutes which is obviously impossible. Some photos on the hall of fame showed an obese Texan giving up after 8 of 36 slices. This eating challenge is one that man vs food would not even put to bed.

Bohol is home to one of the world’s smallest primates, the Philippine Tarsier. You’ve as much chance of seeing a Mackem in Moscow this week, as you have of seeing one of these strange little creatures in the wild. Luckily a sanctuary has been set up to rescue the tarsiers from the verge of extinction. I must say, the tiny nocturnal animals were even smaller than I had imagined and looked twice as bizarre, I’d describe it as a cross between a monkey and a rat with aliens feet and eyes like a regular of the Haçienda.


A sad fact about the tarsiers is they have a tendency to commit suicide while in captivity. The animals are extremely sensitive to daylight and noise so are known to bash their heads when unable to cope with the stress. Thankfully the sanctuary seems to be doing a good job in keeping the environment natural and doing its best to keep the noise to a bare minimal whilst banning flash photography.


The Chocolate hills are one of the Philippines premier tourist attractions, and are the result of the uplifting of ancient coral reef deposits. The token ridiculous story says that they’re the tears of a giant that cried his heart out after his lass left him, or something like that. The hills take their name from the browny colour that they’re meant to turn at this time of year, but I could still see many patches of green, so it would be more fitting if I renamed them ‘the fortnight old netto’s chocolate hills’. The grassy mounds reminded me of tele tubbies land, excluding the sun portrayed by a really annoying baby…



Dipsy, La La and Po

I wasn’t expecting anything mind blowing, but I did enjoy the hills. Even though they are just that, hills. And so we took a couple of up roads, we took a couple of down roads, and made our way home from the green and brown, Chocolate hills.


Three of the 8 sisters hillocks

(The boat from Larena on Siquijor to Tagbilaran, Bohol runs on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays departing at 7.30pm. The cost is 220 piso for economy and is a much cheaper option than the ocean jet daily service from Siquijor town that costs 800+ for the same duration)

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